What I Learned In A Pandemic
Okay. So last year when the pandemic started I had the highest hopes. I was going to exercise and get into a fabulous routine (I even bought a stationary bike and thought we would be BFF’s), I was going to have this super engaged IG and nail down that algorithm once and for all, and honestly— really just strive. It didn’t happen. But I did learn a lot of things about myself in the process.
1- I’m Still Fucking Lazy
I’m going to have more time to exercise, I’m going to have time to do this or that, and I’m going to have my best body yet. Well. That didn’t happen. I have tried working out in the morning, at lunch, after work, during break. But honestly, I can’t get into a rhythm and my workout clothes are officially getting tight. So that fucking sucks. Also, I have a vacation in a couple of months where I thought I would have abs. Spoiler Alert: I won’t. But I got really cute bathing suits to hide them in. Plus, endless amounts of alcohol where I can ignore the fact that my belly is jiggling while I laugh. And that makes me laugh at the thought.
2- I Still Can’t Dance
With the Tik Tok craze, I really wanted to be apart of it. Like, I tried so hard. I thought to myself, “this is my moment to shine.” Unfortunately, I forgot the fact that I cannot dance and watching them back made me depressed. So to the people who had the moves- I saw you. I envied you. I wanted to be you. But I also saw some really bad ones, and to you- I didn’t want to join you.
Like, when Matt and I went to his office Christmas party a couple of years ago I got a lecture on our way there. He said, “Babe. They’re going to have a DJ and you need to promise me you’re not going to dance.” And I didn’t. But I was also pissed at the end of the night because so many of those MOFO’s didn’t know how to do the Macarena, including Matt. And that was my moment to shine. Fuck. Is Matt holding me back?
3- I Don’t Have An Instagram Boyfriend
Matt doesn’t take pictures of me. And the pictures that I ask him to take are garbage. But I’m also lazy, where half the time I have unshampoo’d hair and old mascara all over my face, so in fairness, he really doesn’t have much to work with. But I still resent him for not picking up photography last year as a hobby.
4- I Still Can’t Cook
I can. But I’m not a patient cook. So we’re either getting it raw or overly burnt if I can’t cook it within twenty minutes. I feel like the pandemic produced Martha Stewart’s all around the world. Matt and I were just lucky that we didn’t end up in the hospital from food poisoning. Luckily, Matt can cook so we didn’t starve a whole lot.
5- I Missed Hugs
Fortunately, Matt gives the best hugs. If he hugs anyone longer than 3 seconds I count it as cheating. That fucking slut. But, I missed my dad’s hugs a lot. It was really sweet when we felt comfortable enough to hug one another after a year of not being able to. I know you didn’t expect to see my sentimental side, as I’m trying to keep this post light and fluffy. But I’m not heartless. Not entirely anyway.
This blog post was really fun to write. It made me laugh while writing it, so I hoped you chuckled even just a tiny bit when you read it. The raw truth about the pandemic was that it was for sure challenging. There were moments were I would get depressed because I missed people. Then when that sadness would fade, I would count my blessings and think, “Wow. How lucky am I to have people to miss?”
I tried to make the most out of 2020. There were a lot of personal things that Matt and I were each handling and sometimes we didn’t know how to help the other person with their feelings. The first weekend of March was the worst for us. We had lived with one another for one month. That first Friday in March we found out that my sister’s cancer had return. Then we went to a family dinner at Matt’s parent’s house that Sunday to find out that his mother’s cancer had return. Then during that week while we’re processing, the pandemic really seemed to have taken a life on it’s own and we felt like the only thing to do was to love everyone from afar to protect them. We pulled away from friends. We wouldn’t come around family too much to protect our high-risk family members. And we processed things separately. I would get emotional knowing that I couldn’t do what my instincts wanted to do- which is always to help. He stayed quiet and I had to learn to respect that.
I’m happy to report that both of our family members are fighters and both beat cancer in the year of 2020!