Switching Careers In Your 30’s
“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”
—UnknownSince my mid twenties I have been on the search for more. I have played with different career paths that all seemed to lead to a dead end with no real happiness. It seemed like every person in my circle had their careers figured out, they’re all killing it in their fields, and making crazy amounts of money. I wanted that.. but how? I know I have made mistakes and there were things I never followed through on and I own that. When I went back to school at 29 and graduated at 31 I was immensely proud of myself. I cried at my graduation because I had made so many sacrifices to be able to walk that stage and have the people I love the most cheer for me. I thought going back to school was going to open all the doors that my friends had when they graduated college.
But the reality was that no doors opened that I had anticipated. I left my retail job for one of the worst jobs I have ever had. The girl who never drinks was stopping at the liquor store everyday after work to numb the pain for feeling inadequate in a job that brought zero happiness. I had no intentions on quitting— I swear, but one morning I woke up, got in the shower for work, and decided right there and then that I was not returning. I remember waking Matt with a whisper, “I’m not going back to work.”
It was humiliating to tell people I was unemployed. Starting another job search was soul crushing. The amount of “no’s” you get from them just looking at your resume plays into your mental health. Watching your debt just pile up is sickening. That’s why I took the first job that interviewed me. I was not in a place to “shop around.” I was desperate. And here I was again, in another dead end job that had nothing to do with my degree, making very little, and just doing what I could to survive.
That happened again less than a year later. Luckily, the 2020 pandemic helped get me out of that situation. I was fortunate enough to line up another job in retail but on my first day I cried. I cried because I was taking another step backwards. I was so embarrassed to tell people what I did and really avoided the conversation as much as possible. If I saw someone I knew, I avoided them. Not because I wanted to be antisocial, but because in my head I was failing. And a lot of times I feel like a failure with very little control over my life. I feel like I have to just settle with what’s presented. I feel like I did everything I was supposed to do and was still not where I needed to be. I took it out on every person around me because I needed some sort of control.
Now, here we are again. Less than a year later I am switching careers again. This time is different though (or maybe it isn’t). I have so much pride with that place I am going and want to tell people about it. It’s a huge company with so many positives. I want to succeed. I need to succeed. I don’t want to constantly change careers. But now that I’m in a big company and getting what I want— I’m scared.
I have been so emotional with this change. It’s something that I want so bad and something I am willing to put in the hours to succeed but I have failed so many times in my life that I’m scared of failing. I’m sure most people are afraid of that feeling, but when you have been doing it consistently for the past three years, you have to reflect on what’s getting in your way. The answer? Me.
I constantly get in my way. I make excuses. I blame. When things start to get hard and I have to push myself harder—I shut down. I get in my head. I do that with my website. It got hard. I made excuses. I was so proud of Laughstyle and I let this dwindle because I complicated the process instead of having fun with it. I lost what I was trying to do. I let other people’s opinions get in my head and I let myself down.
So what if I’m switching careers again in my thirties. So what if I have to take on another job to support my other goals in life while I continue to get my website going? Maybe I never get this website where I want it. But, at least I finally found a career where I can feel challenged, be able to afford what I want, and vacation like a boss. I’m never going to settle for less. I’m never going to take a job where I say, “I don’t care if I get it or not.” THAT’S A BAD SIGN (I said that and that’s how I ended up in the worst job ever. ) I’m never going to take a job that makes me cry because it’s not something I want to do. Every bad job I have ever had has made me learn what I don’t want from a job and what I do want from a job. I’m learning.
Switch your career if it’s what you’re heart is telling you. Take on those challenges even if they scare you. Learn. Never stop trying to be the best you can be. That’s all I’m trying to do. I’m just trying my best & sometimes people’s shitty comments come from a place of jealousy and being content in their own lives that they don’t understand why you want to change.
Fuck Them.