How I Manage My Anxiety
If you are reading this, this means you probably have anxiety yourself or have a friend that you are trying to help. These are some of the things that I practice in my everyday life and things that I have tried that seemed to have helped.
I don’t shy away from telling people I have anxiety. It seems as though most of my friends have experienced this before and it’s not like I’m the only one. Then when you go and share your story with people they try to one up you on how bad THEIR anxiety is. I get it. Most people have anxiety and I am not special. Everyone has different triggers and some people are lucky enough to identify those triggers. I am one of the unlucky ones that has not. I wake up every morning with an anxiety attack. I throw up, I cry, get ready for the day, and I push those feelings to the side because in the corporate world- those feelings do not matter much. I still need a paycheck and I still need to pay my bills. So what do I do to try and help myself manage? Simple. I try everything I can to start the day bright eyed and bushy tailed as if I’m okay. I’m okay, right?
Ditched Caffeine
Some of you may be thinking, “the horror!” Others, might be in agreement that caffeine is a trigger for them as well. Caffeine is a huge trigger for me. I also know there are a lot of people like me who love coffee. I get it. I really truly do. I love the energy it gave me and I love the taste of a GOOD cup of coffee, I love the way my house smells after I make a cup of coffee... Oh man just thinking about it makes me warm inside! However, when I drink it- I get more anxious, I get jittery, and that was enough for me to break up with my lifelong friend. I now limit my coffee to once a week. Every Saturday morning I make a hot brew and try to enjoy it for as long as I can. During the week, I drink hot tea. I’m a fan of Yogi Stress Relief Tea. I don’t know if it works or if it has some sort of Placebo affect, but why question it? When I really want that coffee flavor- I drink a coffee flavored protein shake.
Do I miss coffee during my morning routine? Not really. I still find that I have my afternoon crashes, so I drink water to rehydrate, or have some fruit.
I Limit My Phone Usage
I hate on Sundays when I get the alert on my phone of my screen time and it’s like, “You spent X number of hours on your phone and that’s up 34% from the week before.” It honestly makes me gag. I’m also super embarrassed by the number that I had to put “X” for you to get the picture. I use my phone for EVERYTHING and it shows. At night, I really try to put it in the other room when Matt is home. But sometimes when he’s playing on his phone or doing his own thing- I always reach for it for comfort. I’m not saying my phone gives me anxiety, but I use it to avoid the world and not face problems. It’s almost like what they say about drinking- you can drink to avoid the issue on hand, but once you sober up the problem is still there. I can hide behind my phone all day long, but that doesn’t mean I’m intentionally living.
Also, going on social media on my phone does sometimes trigger my anxiety. It’s a highlight reel of people living their best lives. And when I’m spiraling, it’s easy to assume everyone is living their best lives and that I’m the only one who hasn’t figured out my shit yet.
Spend Time Outside
I am not an outdoorsy kinda girl. I try. But usually doing outdoor activities on warm days or getting warm at all flares up my eczema and I am completely miserable, itchy, and unbearable. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still try to go outside every day. This afternoon I sat on my deck, closed my eyes, and just let the trees be my background noise. Then two minutes later I got bored and came inside to write this masterpiece. Other days I will go for a walk, but I like to be in close proximity to home because when I get a flare up I am searching for anything and everything to itch my back. (Last week, my sister and I went for a walk on a trail and I was happy that there wasn’t anyone around because I was grabbing sticks to itch my back. If anyone saw me on that trail, I would have legit looked bananas. I was seconds away from ripping off my shirt and using a tree as a back scratcher.) But yeah. Outside is great.
I feel like being outside is where I feel alive. I’m a very simple person that enjoys just sitting in nature, preferably by water. I even enjoy my little walks just to check the mail. It’s usually quiet or kids playing, and those little walks always make me smile. It really is the small things in life, isn’t it?
Reading More
There was a time where I always was reading. I could spend hours upon hours just reading a book and being perfectly content. Not so much anymore. Somehow, I talked myself into feeling guilty for reading. Like, I should be doing something else every single second of every single day, and that reading was too “selfish” to do because I could be doing XYZ. So now I allow myself to have “selfish time.” Matt doesn’t feel guilty when he had a long day and wants to unwind in his office with video games or his own shows. Why should I? During the week I set a timer of one hour to read every single day. On the weekends, I’ll read more when the time allows. I don’t think of reading as my selfcare time. I read because I like the escape. I like the creativity of the author. I like reading to better myself and get other viewpoints of the world.
How has reading helped my anxiety? Because it’s one hour of something that I thoroughly enjoy. It’s just me and the words on the page. It’s quiet time to reset. Yes, I could be cleaning, I could be blogging, I could be using this time to spend with Matt, I could be working out. I mean there are so many things I SHOULD be doing, but why not do the one thing that brings me joy? I deserve to have a little bit of joy every day of my life. Even if I have to set a timer and take care of other things.
Journal
Like reading, journaling in the morning helps me keep my mind moving forward. I sometimes will write without concentrating on what I am writing, and just let my mind go without worrying about grammar, what my handwriting looks like, or if I even completed a sentence. I learned this technique in college and it’s one of my favorite things to help with writer’s block. When you read things back, you have no idea what the hell you were thinking. But it’s honestly super fun. I recommend setting a timer for fifteen minutes and just going until the timer runs out. I also don’t like to read what I wrote right away. I like time to pass before I revisit my journals.
Journaling in the mornings is a nice way for me to write myself a letter. To say nice things about myself. Depending on where my anxiety is in the morning- I’ll write things like:
“I am so brave.”- Then list things out that are brave that I have done.
“You have so many things to be grateful for today.” Then I’ll write things that I’m grateful for. Number one is always Matt. Number one will always be him.
A series of affirmations. I follow affirmations on Instagram or I’ll Google them. I’ll then write how that affirmation is pertaining to me in that moment.
It doesn’t take my anxiety completely away. But it does allow me a couple of minutes in the morning to get my head right, to allow some quiet time with just my thoughts, and an opportunity to say nice things to myself. It’s easy to be hard on yourself. But I say things to myself with the thought that one day my child would read this, and what would I want my child to tell themselves?
I Finally Went On Medicine
Ah, yes. The good ole, “I refuse to go on medicine because this is going to pass.” Well. I said that for most of my life and it never passed. It actually got progressively worse. Monday through Friday I would get sick with worry because of my job (crazy what we will do for a paycheck, huh?) On the weekends, I don’t want to have fun because the time is going to go by too fast and then the week is going to start again. On Sundays, Matt can barely talk to me because I have panic attacks and I literally shut down. Matt had been suggesting medication for years, but I always shut it down. Almost a month ago, I saw the worry in Matt’s eyes. I saw the pain that my anxiety and depression was taking on him and I asked him to go to the doctors with me so I can finally get some extra help. I wanted him to hold me accountable, but I also wanted him to hear the conversation. There are things that I don’t say to protect him, but want him to know. I went on the medication for us. We both deserve to have the best version of myself.
It’s still too early to see if the medication is working. It’s just been over a week and the medicine can take a while to set in. I started it last Sunday. By Wednesday, I was sick. Thursday I was still pretty sick, but on the ups of it. Friday, I felt fine again where I was able to leave the house without worry. Haven’t had any issues since, and I even upped the dosage after one week. Today is day 3 of the extra dosage, so far no issues.
This is a pretty small list comparatively. I’ve tried many things and it’s finding that balance of what works for you. One blogger said she did yoga every day. So I did yoga every day for one month. It was fine, I enjoy yoga, but I didn’t have a strong connection to it. Someone told me they try meditating. I TRY. I get so fidgety, I can’t get comfortable, and all of a sudden I’m super aware of every itch I haven’t scratched. I’m pretty sure you get the idea that this list is not going to be for everyone. However, these are starting points. I know living with anxiety is uncomfortable. I know being in group situations where you aren’t comfortable is enough to push you over the edge. I know that you are trying. If you weren’t trying to overcome your anxiety then why read this? I’m trying too. It’s all about trial and error.
But please know, no matter what you are facing or whatever is causing your anxiety there are things in place to help you. For me- I had to take a leave of absence from work because I honestly thought my stress was going to kill me. My anxiety was so bad that I was having chest pains and I knew I was going to have a heart attack before I turned 40. I knew I needed some time to put myself in a timeout. I’m doing this timeout with 4 months until my budget-less wedding, and things are not really calming down. But I knew that I needed to get healthy so I could enjoy my life. I also finally admitted that I needed to go on medicine. That was not an easy decision for me. But, as you can see from this list- I have tried many things. There is such a stigma with going on mediation. I had some people who are really close in my life who told me what a mistake it was going to be. One person told me that I was going to become zombie-like and stop feeling things all together. Those are scary words. But the alternative was that my thoughts were getting really dark. I don’t consider myself a depressed person-however, my anxiety was making things so bad for me to function that I honestly stopped picturing my future.
So I get it. I know what it’s like. That’s why I felt like it was important to share a bit of my story. I would love if you shared your story with me. You can private message me on Instagram or comment below. Or, you can share what you do to help your anxiety. I’m curious to know. I’ll also give it a try and update this article if there are things from your suggestions that helped me as well. Please stay well!