22 Things I Vow To Practice in 2022 For My Mental Health
In 2022, there are so many wonderful things that are happening. I’ll be marrying my best friend, going to Florida with his entire family, watching our friends get married in Las Vegas, possibly buying a house, and just celebrating life. But, what makes 2022 a little different is the commitment I am making to myself. I don’t want those exciting things happening to make me lose focus on my growth. I know that my mental wellbeing is not as strong as I would like it to be, so I need to find ways I can commit to myself. This list is something that is simple to follow and easy to hold myself accountable to. From here, I will grow and share my journey with you through the process.
1- Journal
I have journals that I have kept since I was in 6th grade. For Christmas, my parents gifted me a beautiful, leather bound journal that I wrote in from junior high to high school. Is that journal super embarrassing? Yes. If my imaginary kids ever read that they would probably think that their mom was an emotional mess. After that journal, I had many others. Pages completely documenting my life. The good, the bad, the ugly. Somewhere in my mid-twenties I stopped writing. I have nothing really documenting Matt and I, and that really does break my heart. I stopped writing after my step dad passed and that also hurts. That pain was so deep that I stopped writing all together. I recently just started getting back into journaling with a gratitude journal. Every day I write that I’m grateful for Matt, and then I fill the page with whatever I’m feeling grateful for that day. It also has checkboxes for “how I felt that day” and almost every single day- I check off anxious. When will becoming anxious go away?
2- Less Phone Time
I am on my phone an embarrassing amount of time. I use it as a crutch to avoid the things I feel. Whether it’s playing some sort of game, scrolling through social media, shopping, I am on my phone avoiding things I should be doing (ahem, my blog). Being on my phone takes away my creativity. When I am on my phone constantly, I justify it as taking a break. But let’s be honest. I am ALWAYS taking a break.
3- Limit Social Media
Social Media really makes me feel bad about myself. Those filters have completely gotten out of hand. I can’t even take a photo anymore when it doesn’t have a filter because it makes me look like me- the horror! I have to stop wishing and wanting things that people have that are on social media. Reality and social media have become enemies in time. I can no longer tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore. I’m tired of comparing myself to a filter.
4- Read More
I am for sure holding myself accountable for this one. I LOVE buying books. I love going to Barnes and Noble or looking at books in the thrift store to add to my collection. When someone makes a book recommendation- I’ll instantly add it my Amazon cart. I mean- I LOVE buying them. But reading them? I’ve allowed myself to feel guilty if I read because it takes away from something else. There was a time I was always reading. But lately- it’s been a “set the timer” sort of thing to force myself to do again. Once I start the book, I usually get really into it. Maybe, my book recommendations have been a little off.
5- Practice Yoga
The past couple of weeks I have been signing up for the 7 am yoga classes before work for a couple of reasons. My anxiety has been out of control. I usually wake up at 6am with some sort of panic attack before I start work. So for 2.5 hours before I have to log on to the computer, I walk around the house compulsively cleaning and hoping that something will change. That isn’t healthy. Now, I wake up at 6 am, take care of things around the house, then drive to yoga. For one hour- I am moving my body. I am breathing. I am setting my intentions for the day and telling myself, “I am strong. I am capable. I am grounded.”
I’m also talking to people again. I have been working from home for nearly a year and I miss interacting with people. It’s nice having some small chat in the morning that isn’t in a zoom conference.
6- Practice Meditation
Anxiety has taken over my life. I need to take more time to pause. Breathe. And be mindful. I want to connect with myself in a high frequency. I want to know exactly why this anxiety is here. I want to know why on a deeper level that I feel so insecure. I want to know myself in general. I think meditation can help me get the answers I am seeking.
7- Saying “Yes” More
My insecurities eat me alive. They tell me what I will be the odd person out. That I am not enough to do this or that. My first instinct is to say, “no.” But, I always wind up having more fun than I had anticipated. I want to try saying yes more. To have more fun. I think that is going to be crucial for me in the long run.
8- Saying “No” More
I usually say no, but only to myself. I don’t tell people no. I tell people what they want to hear. Why? Because my anxiety and my insecurities tell me that you won’t like me anymore if I say no. So I say yes and I will stretch myself thin to please the people around me. I put myself in these situations that I know aren’t going to mentally serve me well to please the people around me. When I do say no, they are the same group of people who make me feel bad for it. Those are not the people I want in my life. These are the people that I will be creating space from. Even if they are family.
9- No More Caffeine
Caffeine=Anxiety. I LOVE coffee. I love that feeling of that little extra pick me up in the morning and sometimes in the late afternoon. But it’s not worth the side effects of an anxiety attack. I could always drink decaf if I' really wanted to. But now I’m trying to find alternatives to my morning brew.
Some of my new favorites are these seltzer waters that are mood enhancers and make you feel “calm, cool, and collected.” I swear these help me start my day and calm down my anxiety. I don’t even think they have a placebo affect- they really work. They don’t perk me up and can definitely add that tired feeling, but it’s worth it when my anxiety is all I know.
I’m also beginning to add CBD oil to my morning routine and warm, lemon water. I’m TRYING.
10- Eat Healthier
I am a stress eater. Since the pandemic, I have added 30 pounds to my weight. I love comfort food. I hate vegetables. However, when I do eat vegetables and fruit- I feel mentally better. When I eat chocolate or salty snacks, I feel gross and a little bit more depressed. I’m not a scientist. I don’t have a reason how that works.
11- Create A Simple Exercise Routine
Yes. Yoga is a great start. I also need to start using my stationary bike. I use it like twice a month. I pay for the Pelaton app but it doesn’t get that much use. I love taking walks outside, but I live in New England. I create excuses. I’m really good at that.
12- Stop Allowing Work To Stress Me Out
Lately, I have been reaching out to my girlfriends and every single person is saying the same thing. They aren’t loving their job right now and are in survival mode. Is my job a passion of mine? Absolutely not. It robs me of my creativity. Everyday I feel stupid and unsupported. Everyday there is something thrown my way that I don’t know how to handle and I have to figure it out on the spot. Without help or guidance and several times a day, I’m getting yelled at for things that are out of my control. Even writing about it makes me want to cry.
The things I have to remind myself in these moments are: the company is paying my student loans. I make good money. You have to have a job to buy a house. I have really good healthcare coverage. I have to pay for a wedding for the end of this year.
13- Write More
I love my blog. I get overwhelmed with not posting enough on social media to bring awareness to my website. I get overwhelmed with not being able to get into a creative headspace to write more. Now that I am focusing on my niche- I feel like I’m in a good spot and need to stop making excuses. Matt is going to have to be on the back burner for a while. But, I’m sure that’s fine with him. That will give him some more time of me not being clingy and being able to do the things he enjoys.
14- Be Present In Social Settings
Again, insecurities tell me that I am not enough. So I like to hide when I’m not comfortable. Whether it’s using my phone to hide or using Matt as my crutch. I’m always trying to find ways to avoid social situations and that really isn’t healthy.
15- Be Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
This is kind of my 2022 mantra. I repeat it to myself several times daily when I’m dealing with something hard. I say it to friends as a gentle reminder to them as well. We can’t grow if we are comfortable. We can’t learn. We end up coming off as closed-minded and I feel like I am jeopardizing my future self of real growth. Yes, I am uncomfortable right now. But I’m doing this hard stuff so I can say, “I DID IT!”
16- Stop Allowing Myself To Quit When Things Get Hard
My blog is hard and I have put it on a time out many times. My job is hard and I want to quit every single day. Life is hard and I sometimes want to quit that too. But things are also beautiful when you stick things out. You grow a little bit more. You find yourself in a way you didn’t know you had in you.
17- Be A Better Friend
It’s easy for life to take over and you stop reaching out to people. The past couple of months my mental health was in a severe decline. I wondered if I would make it out alive. I forced myself to reach out to friends who I haven’t talked to in a while. I told friends how proud I am of them. I asked them how they were doing. What I can do to help them out. I opened up a lot more about me as well when they returned the question.
“Not too well. My anxiety is taking a toll on me. I feel like I’m just trying to survive life and find small things that will make me happy.” You know what happened when I was honest? All of my friends understood exactly what I was talking about. It allowed them to open up a little bit more freely, too. Life is stressful. So many days we feel so alone and like we are the only ones holding onto all this stress when the reality is simple: we are all trying to survive. We are all dealing with something that we don’t always bring up to even our closest friends. Be a friend that says, “Thinking of you, hope you are doing well.” It’s a small gesture. But it’s honestly such a power move.
18- Tell Myself I’m Beautiful
I don’t make eye contact with myself in the mirror. I find beauty in every person I have ever met. But I can’t look at myself in the mirror and tell myself the same thing. Every day I vow to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I am beautiful and come up with a reason why.
19- Use Essential Oils
All I know about essential oils is how much I love essential oils on a cold wash cloth after yoga. I want to understand the benefits of essential oils and have them be around me. If even just for a placebo affect.
20- Stop Emotionally Shopping
No. You do not need to buy anything to make yourself feel better. Become financially free. That’s going to be the most powerful feeling in the world.
21- Take More Baths
Allow myself more me time. Goal: Every time it’s raining out- take a bath.
22- Stop Apologizing
The problem is- I feel bad about everything. I have so much guilt from the person I used to be. I was a hurt child who hurt people in return. I’m not that person anymore. I no longer want to hurt you in return. I’m no longer an angry person. I feel bad for the things I have done in my past and I over apologize now because of the guilt that I hold onto. I apologize because I don’t want you to resent me- even if you don’t know me. I’m insecure.
